Conflict Is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair By Sarah Schulman

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Rating: 9.5 (5751 reviews)
Author: Sarah Schulman

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From intimate relationships to global politics, Sarah Schulman observes a continuum: that inflated accusations of harm are used to avoid accountability. Illuminating the difference between Conflict and Abuse, Schulman directly addresses our contemporary culture of scapegoating. This deep, brave, and bold work reveals how punishment replaces personal and collective self-criticism, and shows why difference is so often used to justify cruelty and shunning. Rooting the problem of escalation in negative group relationships, Schulman illuminates the ways cliques, communities, families, and religious, racial, and national groups bond through the refusal to change their self-concept. She illustrates how Supremacy behavior and Traumatized behavior resemble each other, through a shared inability to tolerate difference.This important and sure to be controversial book illuminates such contemporary and historical issues of personal, racial, and geo-political difference as tools of escalation towards injustice, exclusion, and punishment, whether the objects of dehumanization are other individuals in our families or communities, people with HIV, African Americans, or Palestinians. Conflict Is Not Abuse is a searing rejection of the cultural phenomenon of blame, cruelty, and scapegoating, and how those in positions of power exacerbate and manipulate fear of the "other" to achieve their goals.Sarah Schulman is a novelist, nonfiction writer, playwright, screenwriter, journalist and AIDS historian, and the author of eighteen books. A Guggenheim and Fulbright Fellow, Sarah is a Distinguished Professor of the Humanities at the City University of New York, College of Staten Island. Her novels published by Arsenal include Rat Bohemia, Empathy, After Delores, and The Mere Future. She lives in New York.

At this time of writing, The Audiobook Conflict Is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair has garnered 9 customer reviews with rating of 5 out of 5 stars. Not a bad score at all as if you round it off, it’s actually a perfect TEN already. From the looks of that rating, we can say the Audiobook is Good TO READ!

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I regret buying this book. I was expecting to find a read that would challenge me and push the envelope on my existing views. I got to page 67, where she defends stalking (apparently if both people don't consent to a cease of contact, it doesn't count), and had to quit. Overview up to that point:- The author is not a psychologist and doesn't seem to have much understanding of psychology. Her insistence that we will only fix the world when EVERYONE is willing to be self-aware to a very extreme extent is uttetly unrealistic. Apparently everyone is supposed to be aware of things that they are shielding from themselves. There's really no discussion or expectation that you'll be handling situations with people who aren't up to the level of self-awareness and openness the author advocates, or that you'll ever interact with thoughtless people or outright jerks.- The author's threshold for abuse is extremely high. Either your life is in imminent danger, or you are SO psychologically abused that you literally "are unable to exercise separation or independent action". Anyone else who behaves badly toward you is apparently just trying to get you to realize uncomfortable truths about yourself. See above, apparently no one ever interacts with outright jerks.- People who feel uncomfortable as a result of romantic overtures, threatening or not, need to examine their own contributions to being hit on, according to the author. That is, if a guy hits on you and you turn him down, saying you have no interest, then you're just playing the part of the perfect victim. You were probably putting out signals you WERE interested, you just aren't willing to accept that about yourself. "When I hear 'when a woman says no, she means no,' I know that that is too simple." Sorry, Ms. Schulman, but no means no. It IS that simple.- Apparently email is a great evil among humankind. There was a long screed against email. Also, "there is no reason why people do not return phone calls except for the power-play of not answering."- Setting boundaries appears to be highly discouraged. You certainly must never send an email (the horror) saying "do not contact me." Relatedly, "refusing to be shunned for unjust, nonexistent, or absurd reasons is not 'stalking'." This, combined with "no doesn't always mean no," above, suggests that Ms. Schulman has been rather predatory in the past and seeks to defend her own past behavior. The rest of the book is probably even more problematic, but I'm not going to keep reading to find out.

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